Harbaugh comedic monologue take 3

I did another 11-minute-23-second segment of my mock-Jim-Harbaugh tribute Friday at Philz, with the emphasis on mock.

I know if was exactly 11:23 because I did it as a “track act” talking over Pink Floyd “Pigs”.

Why “Pigs”? No reason. A neighbor had burned me a cd, which had recently been remastered by the label; “Animals” from 1977.

I was riffing on the nickname for the ball itself, pigskin. Also, the Pink Floyd album was riffing on George Orwell treatise “Animal Farm.”

I also made this performance something of a “prop act” in that I turned a glass Philz coffee mug into a cowbell, read from both James Franco “Palo Alto” — something about his dad liking math — and a 1963 book about Y.A. Tittle.  A guy named Fabes joined me on stage to help spin the cd, on his Apple computer. I brought my egg-timer to help clock the 11:23. And I had an actual football, albeit a rubber Baden one.

No livestock was harmed in my presentation, although I did scarf down a sausage and egg breakfast burrito right after the hit.

The other acts were considerably better than me, especially Fabes, Remi and Chloe, Michael McCaul, AIR from Cal and Ami Pienkenaruga, who improvised a song about caffeine addiction. Plus our host Jessie. I met a comic Rob Goodman who wore a Spoon shirt and imitated Lil’ Wayne.

our host Jess, who shot the above photos of MBW

Ami wrote, strummed and sang on stage

 

edit to add, Tuesday:

From: mark weiss <earwopa@yahoo.com>
To: “sanjoseimprov@improvcomedyclubsonline.com” <sanjoseimprov@improvcomedyclubsonline.com>
Sent: Tuesday, May 22, 2012 2:04 PM
Subject: Re: Gabriel Iglesias, Jim Jefferies, Bill Burr & More!

 

can i open for bill burr? I have a comedic monologue called “the harbaugina monologue” about pro football, machismo and homophobia. I’ve done three ten minute bits at open mike at philz palo alto. see my blog “plastic alto” for more info. i asked joe sib of san jose and “cali calling” monologue if he wanted to sign and record “THM” but he said “keep the day job buddy” which is just as well since i’m in the concert biz.
mark weiss
“plastic alto” blog
earthwise productions and artist management
“the harbaugina monologue”
650.305.0701

From: San Jose Improv Comedy Club and Restaurant <sanjoseimprov@improvcomedyclubsonline.com>
To: earwopa@yahoo.com
Sent: Tuesday, May 22, 2012 8:58 AM
Subject: Gabriel Iglesias, Jim Jefferies, Bill Burr & More!

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Big man pig man charade you are

edit to add, cuz someone clicked on this years later — something about Harbaugh

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Sissy Hankshaw lives in SF

6 p.m. Wednesday May 16, 2012, Dog Patch. Photo by Mark Weiss

Cruising Third Street in SF at rush hour on my way to Meridian Galley downtown for the poetry art opening, (The Painted Word) this biker and passenger made excellent time, although I slowed to get them, thusly. Sissy Hankshaw the greatest hitchhiker would be proud if the rider upped the biker, or either way.

edita: the people I saw or spoke to at the actual event, but did not shoot, included Matt Gonzalez, Lawrence Ferlinghetti, Peter Selz, Lillian Kaufman Cartwright, Wendyn Cadden, Julie Lala and John, Mario the jazz manager, Tony and Anne, Sue Johnson, Chris Felver’s printer, filmmaker Jesse Block, Garret Caples and John “Jack” Keating.

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Vest Coast

I have this crude, dorky, mash-up bit where I post two youtube windows here and invite my readers/viewers to open and play both simultaneously. While I should really just be gushing about Best Coast, their hit on Late Night tv doubled with a New York Times preview and run out to buy tickets and get my “I’m too old for this shirt” bad self to Oakland Fox for their big shoe Saturday, I am for whatever Plasticky panicky reasons instead inserting the easily exploitable Vanessa Mae doing Donna Summer. So let’s do this:

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Love to love the Donnas

I’d like to see Brett Anderson, Alison Robertson, Maya Ford and, for old times’ sake, Torry “Go Stanford” Castellano wearing satin dresses and covering this disco classic with a 1990s punk rock oomph:

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Harbaugh monologue part 2

Mark Weiss at Philz Palo Alto downtown in May, 2012 doing his Harbaugh bit while the lovely and talented duo of Remi and Chloe wait their turn to sing that song that they used to know.

Two weeks in a row I have done my Harbaugh monologue at the Friday open mic at Philz.

The gist of it is that although he is or was an excellent athlete and a successful coach, I have not been able to shake my first impression that Jim was so into himself that he was a displeasure to play against (I was on the Gunn basketball team while he was on the Paly basketball, football and baseball teams –I have been carrying this feeling around for thirty years).

In spring of 1982, we the Oracle student newspaper at Gunn put out a fake Paly Campanile — The Crapanile -that played on the fact that the real Campanile used pictures of Jim for their Winter Wrap up AND their Spring Preview. We parodied this by writing ad nauseum about “Jim Harbarph” under the headline OUR BOY JIM DOES IT AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN.

As I have admitted to people my misgivings, even as a Stanford and 49ers fan, people added to my rap by offering their own “Harbaugh hater” moment or story.

It’s beyond the Gunn-Paly thing, although come to think of it Jim Harbaugh may be the first blue chip Paly athlete who actually lived closer to Gunn. (And for instance, Paly’s top three athletes right now all live within a few blocks of each other in South Palo Alto…and that famous world-changing, Dirk-facing, billionaire in the making point-shooting guard, guess where he was supposed to go?)

Jim can make amends and save himself by quitting pro sports and learning to play hand-drums with a reggae or world beat band; believe me, this will heal him.

Until then, I am entitled to my opinions.

A comedic monologue is not stand-up comedy. I don’t tell a joke and wait for a laugh or not. I talk on and on for about 9 minutes — although I have about three hours of material — then a couple hours later you go “hmm..that was kind of weird!”.

Thanks to Shelley Barnea Smith for taking this photo.

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Steps in stone(d)

Steps in stoned

That’s David Middlebrook, 2000, “Steps in Stone” in front of the Westin, Palo Alto, says Mark Weiss, who admits to being Windows-aided, although he also saw two Middlebrookses just yesterdaze at Montalvo.

Speaking of Montalvo, Beth Custer is in residence there this month, during Montalvo’s Centennial, her third such visit in three years. She is writing and dreaming and also prepping for a performance of her original score to a 1930 Soviet Georgian film, “My Grandmother” which lifts its collective and collectivist petticoats Friday, May 25 in the Garden Theatre outdoors.

I am finding good homes for about 28 postcards promoting the event and plan to walk a stack of them over and into the Hoover Tower. And also I plan to snipe a few to producers of the Reagan and Gorbachev show I saw last week at CEMEX.

A just-arrived Japanese percussionist gifted us all with some mochi snacks, which Montalvo director Kelly Sicat kindly shared with me.

Beth and I walked the gardens, and I also stopped in at the nursery school at Thelma and Highway 9 where I pranced and frolicked more than 40 years ago. School director Heather King pointed out a vintage wooden toy train that was decommissioned for climbing but kept at the corner as a landmark.

Fond memories revisited just yesterday of 43 years prior at University PreSchool on 13560 Saratoga-Sunnyvale Road, corner of Thelma

Alan Black’s breakdown of the UEFA soccer games for the Chronicle and blog reminds me of meeting him in 1990 when we were both clerks at SF’s Green Apple books. He was my guide to the World Cup: root for Northern Ireland over Ireland, Ireland over England and then two years later I saw the U.S top England in Foxboro, MA, two-nil, both on headers.

Alan Black has been in my pantheon of presenters and impresarios for all these years; he produced a live version of “Trainspotting” at Edinburgh Castle well-before the film version reached the U.S.

I sent this as an excloo to Leah Garchk: a Palo Alto motorcyle cop has a license frame that says: I know, I know The light was yellow.

I KNOW I KNOW THE LIGHT WAS YELLOW

I fished from my files a five-part sequence of photos of Frank Gehry’s Disney Concert Hall, shot in 2009 by Michelle Budziak. That’s me in the corner, losing my religion, although I am psyched to find a copy of Moses Maimomades “Guide to The Perplexed” published in 1963 by University of Chicago Press. Seek and find.

Because I was bragging on the bus ride up about my short-lived days as a New Orleans jazz manager I felt compelled to purchase the 2012 Rhino Records set “back in NEW ORLEANS” when our bus stopped at a Starbucks in North Bay, on our way to Oliver Ranch for an art tour. The cd starts with “Hey Pocky A-Way” by the Meters, passes thru Where Ya At Mule” by Dr. John, makes 13 more stops and then finishes with James Booker medley.
Which reminds me that I recently transcribed my own notes about my 2002 phone conversation with Stevenson Palfi, the deceased filmmaker who was also the basis for the Steve Goodman character in “Treme”.

Laura Jacobson, another Gunn alum of our generation, showed me during open studios her ceramic reaction to a Nabokov poem she then challenged me to add to my book cue.

Nelson Mandela’s autobiography, on loan from Palo Alto Downtown, mentions his fondness for Tracy Chapman; also, I recently learned that my Gunn and Dartmouth school-mate Kim Porteus has worked more than 20 years in South Africa as an administrator for the Nelson Mandela Foundation. Fact checked that: Kimberley Porteus is executive director of the Nelson Mandela Institute.

The second attempt at my Harbaugh Hater Monologue Friday at Philz Palo Alto open mic went well. I worked in new bits about Michael Akatiff, up next after me playing blues guitar and vocals, not remembering Jim – they were schoolmates in 1981. I also added details of Greg Zlotnick handing a fake Campanile to Jim on April 1, 1982 and then earlier Friday (May 12, 2012 – thirty years and five weeks laers—telling me to “let it go…get over it…move on”).

Anna Fermin wrote to say her West Coast debut will be next month in San Francisco. She is a Chicago-based roots singer with five albums and two children, who was kind enough to share a bill – and a meal – with Dao Strom my client on tour in The Windy City in July, 2009.

I touched in with my quasi-client quasi-busines partner the potter and artist Jody Naranjo of Albuqueque and Santa Clara pueblo to plot our slowly-firing Pueblo Girls rock band and camp. When Wheelright Museum director Jonathan Batkin was in town he mentioned that there is or was a Roxanne Swenzell installation at a private residence in Palo Alto.

John Mhiripiri of Anthology Film Archives told me of his friend in film at Stanford. His company recently featured a Shingo Francis print on its catalog cover.

I recently decided to hone my focus to three main projects for Warm Weather 2012, plus the Palo Alto Council race plus Beth Custer’s upcoming event. Down from the 106 projects I told Bruce Beasley I was working on when I saw him a few months ago at Smith-Andersen.

I followed those Ground Up signs to 395 Page Mill road to find a Blue Bottle outlet owned and operated by Stanford business lab.

Ground Up coffee, first floor of 395 Page Mill — enter from rear parking lot

Knee deep in this exercise my concentration was broken by the two energetic women sitting and talking next to me at Coupa: they were Deepa Chaudhary of Dutiee Blog and her friend Nora or Norah. Rather than merely linking, I took the liberty of pasting, as well; to wit:

Power and Progress Through Photography, See What a Few Free Cameras Can Do

womenphoto

There is a growing trend of handing cameras to people living in unjust conditions so they can tell their own stories through pictures. I’ve seen a number of such projects listed on Kickstarter (the most popular crowd-funding platform) and many of them are having great success with getting funded.

Thanks Mark, I will mention it!

Leah

Leah, Are you saying that Jacob did the arranging for the “Women’s Voices”/Mother’s Pre-Day show, or that he has, in the past, and on occasion, is or was a member of the party that aranges for Kronos? I think Jacob’s talent is considerable, but you don’t have to mention him on projects that he didn’t work on, and then claim “disclosure”?!

edit to adder: the Japanese artist in residence who brought the mochi, according to the blast, is Mamoru Okuno. And he will perform Friday, May 25 at 6 p.m. before and maybe near Beth Custer’s “My Grandmother” at 7:30 so come early. Beth and I put up flyers for her show in Saratoga Village today, May 17.

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Weird lucid Sled Allen art dream

 

I had a weird dream this morn.
One of those early rising not quite asleep thingies.
Like the Kubrick movies, eyes wide shut.
It was mostly about Sled Allen the baseball player. He was from the 1920s, Lawrence Ritter-era.

But there was also a bus ride, a ham sandwich, that changed to turkey midway through, and a Willy Wonka-esque guide.

On the top of the hill was this hyper-dense obelisk. Not really that much like the other Kubrick movie. The CIA were somehow involved. There was some kind of math problem that I could not quite grasp. Twelve. 7 feet. 4 feet. The elevation falls 85 feet total. The art turns the hillside into the canvas, rather than merely being the place the art is located.

it took a long time to deliver. Jordengen Steel, They almost had to bypass Oregon altogether and reinforce 12 bridges.

There was a tower where you walk up about 116 steps and then back down the other side, of the interior another 116 steps, unless Kronos Quartet was playing, then you could sit in the outdoors amphitheatre. It reminded me of where? Sevilla or Italy? Something Islamic.

There was the mirror image house with cement walls that slighty would start to converge. And all the tomb-stone cutters were hijacked to cut the walls.

And there was the boat made of white wood planks…and the uh, hull of the upside down boat — did I mention there is a ladder, a white ladder, in the tree? — has a little silver pin in it, put with permission, and this pen represents the point on which the two cement walls from the house on the hill would meet.

And there is a foundation of a house — the house is actually in Poland, or is it in Venice? I mean Italy. No, Poland. The foundation of the white house is very white, with sand from Pebble Beach. I mean Carmel. And there was running water. In the pillows. Of the beds. Which were exactly the side of a man — a particular man. Not Sled Allen, another man. Maybe his son. And the water represented memory. Of family. And a dog. The dog need surgery. Or needed rest. But the dog wanted to play, or fetch or swim in all the pools.

And there was a pool and the base of the tower. And other one next to a giant glass wonton from Japan.

And there was an ashy set of 4,000 or so wooden planks. That represent family. And Poland maybe too. But not Stan Musial. Who played for the Cards not the Browns. Sled played for the Browns.

And there was a man with his head in a tree and his trousers down by his ankles. I touched his tie. It was rather flexible, yet rigid. But not hyper-dense. And a woman bent over with her skirt and I tried not to look too closely but I don’t think she had underwear.

And there were sheeps. I could not see them. I could not hear them. Or I did hear them but they sounded like Niagara Falls. And they were connected by a whole room full of computers but some day a man will come and will hold a device in his hands and if he pushes a button the room full of computers will go away and be replaced by that one button. And some satellites.

And there was a long staircase, made of cement. And some stairs were really big steps. Not Giant Steps like Coltrane but 17″ which is considerable. Maybe 423 steps.

I recall noticing when I was on step 86 coming down from the tower.

I threw a sliver of one and the top brought me back a ham sandwich, chips, water, and a cookie.

The man said he was from the CIA but if we told anybody about it he would just wave and disavow.

His name was not Jorgensen Steel.

Martin Puryear was in the dream, but then he left and boarded up the room in which we were eating our sandwiches. I was not sure if that was the real Martin Puryear or just another man using his name. I took a picture but it was blurry. My phone had no memory.

A man who said his name was not Jorgensen and reminded me of Willy Wonka said “do not touch the art.”

I walked around for about four hours. There were other people there , that I tried to connect to, with mixed success.

I stood on the 86th step, from the top

When I could see the Golden Gate Bridge and Transamerica I knew I would soon be home safe.

There was more weird lucent art objects there but I cannot remember them.

Oh yeah, the sheeps would huddle next to the obelisks and warm themselves.

And then I was trying to climb this concrete wall and I had a hold in a crevice cut into the wall but I wasn’t sure if I could maintain and then I woke up

edit to add, more photos from my weird art dream only I forgot or disavow what they are or what they mean:

standing on the white polish house

 

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Thomson and Brownrigg for JCC benefit in Mountain View shoreline

I am reading “Kepler’s Dream” by Juliet Bell, a name used by Sylvia Brownrigg, who I’ve known since the fifth grade, at Fremont Hills. Coincidentally, the story is told from the perspective of an 11-year old. Here is Syliva or Juliet today, or a week ago:

This is Julie Bell. Or is it Sylvia Brownrigg?

As promised, the book was reviewed in the Sunday New York Times, which I skimmed while on the bus en route to Oliver Ranch with a bunch of Palo Alto art aficionados.

Mr. Brownrigg, I mean Sylvia’s husband and baby-dad Sedge Thomson, made a joke to me about how at the shindig there were bagels and donut-holes, but not donuts nor bagel-holes. I took a picture of the bagel platter, but then erased it. A lady at my table, perhaps not realizing the roles here, said “Somebody should tell that guy to shut up!” He’s self-syndicated, don’t you know.

Then I caught WCL the following week and texted Matt Gonzalez about Jonathan Richman singing in Italian, which I called “an ode to Ferlinghetti”; Matt wrote back to say he was not familiar with the show. His loss.

Sylvia and Sedge met on the show. For a while he would make reference to “Sylvia Brownrigg, our London office” but I heard him say “Sylvia Brownrigg, our Albuquerque office” in reference to her book, that takes place in New Mexico. I hope that if they expand their family even further they consider the name “Billy the Kid”.

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ikue mori at stanford ccrma tonight

ikue mori at stanford ccrma tonight

i may have her confused with Cheetoh Molly, but it’s cool.

http://events.stanford.edu/events/318/31849/

edit to add: meanwhile I was gonna post something about comparing the Freight and Salvage schedule arrived yesterday in my box with the CalPerformances.

And: you know that dream you have, that I have, where you realize you are in a class but have forgot to go for the first six week of class? I just remembered I am the publicist for Beth Custer show coming up in two weeks, May 25, at Montalvo. To wit:

BETH CUSTER ENSEMBLE PRESENTS “MY GRANDMOTHER”

Beth Custer Ensemble
BETH CUSTER ENSEMBLE
Photo by Anne Hamersky

RSSMy Grandmother podcast

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Friday, May 25, 2012, 8:30 p.m.

VENUE: Lilian Fontaine Garden Theatre

My Grandmother is a silent film made in 1929 by Soviet Georgian director Kote Mikaberidze and banned by the Soviet regime for 40 years. Beth Custer has coupled this amazing film with her own score, a quick-paced pastiche of American jazz and blues, contemporary classical, and world folk music. Forgotten for a half-century, Kote Mikaberidze’s film is a delightful example of the Soviet Eccentric Cinema movement as well as an irreverent satire of the then still-young Soviet State system. Noted for its anarchic styles—which include stop-motion, puppetry, exaggerated camera angles, animation and constructivist sets—the film unspools the foibles and follies that abound when a Georgian paper pusher, modeled after American silent comic Harold Lloyd, loses his job.

The Beth Custer Ensemble features guitarist David James (The Coup, Spearhead), drummer Jan Jackson (Will Bernard Motherbug), bassist Vicky Grossi (Graham Connah), trumpeter Chris Grady (Tom Waits, Grassy Knoll), Jessica Ivry on cello (Real Vocal String Quartet), and Dina Maccabee on violin (Vienna Teng), and Beth Custer (Eighty Mile Beach, Club Foot Orchestra). Freddi Price (Rube Waddell, Extra Action Marching Band) narrates the film.

RSVP on our Facebook Event Page!

TICKET PRICES : $20 General Admission | $15 Members | $8 Students with ID

Or call the Box Office at (408) 961-5858 10am-4pm Mon-Fri.
Service fees are significantly lower when purchasing tickets through the Montalvo Box Office. Box Office is open one hour prior to all show times.

PARTICIPANTS:

edit to add, July 13, or two months later: the Beth Custer show was a hit, if a little under-attended; I missed Ikue Mori at CCRMA — sometimes even going one mile to see great world class music is somehow beyond me. Meanwhile, I thought I saw the name Ikue Mori as part of the band that will perform Coltrane’s “Ascension” at a big jazz festival in Guelph, with ROVA. It looks like she is part of a stellar group of 12 who will take on that formidable composition – it deserves its own plug herein.

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