http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCdZGRD4mfI

Friday at Philz Coffee in Palo Alto, a stone’s throw from the Stanford football stadium where Jim Harbaugh led the Cardinal gridders to an all-time-best 11-win season, Mark Weiss, a concert promoter, arts activist and blogger, performed for the fourth time his workshop of a comedic monologue about pro football with a working title of “The Harbaugina Monologue”.

The 14-minute performance, conceived as part of an eventual one-act, 60-minute performance piece that might call to mind Spalding Gray’s “Swimming to Cambodia” and the George Plimpton book “Paper Lion” draws on Weiss’s antipathy for Harbaugh, who played three sports for Paly High while Weiss played basketball for rival Gunn High, and edited the student newspaper.

On April Fools Day, 1982, his senior year at Gunn, Weiss and his cohorts published a joke version of the Paly newspaper that mocked the worship of Harbaugh by their crosstown fellow students.

Weiss claims that his monologue, that recounts the history of his 31 years rooting against Harbaugh, and the dissonance of both hating Harbaugh and having a lifelong partisan interest in Stanford and the 49ers, is meant as a constructive and perhaps loving criticism of pro football; it is hard on the boy, so to speak, but also hopes to help its target mend his ways, for a utilitarian, Millsian outcome, or so he says. As in, winning is good, but it is not the only thing. (Compare also, for example, as precedent the recent Broadway show about Vince Lombardi).

Weiss admits that Harbaugh is or was an exceptional athlete but questions his leadership style and sportsmanship and whether the strong Harbaugh personality is good for his players, his charges and for society as a whole. He questions also, rightly or not, whether the winning seasons at Stanford and for the NFL’s Niners are attributable to coaching prowess or dumb luck. Further, he wonders if there is a Jungian-deflation ticking-time-bomb as evidenced by the  coach’s flare-ups with peers like Pete Carroll and Jim Schwartz. Does winning per se have an eventual toll on even the most focused human psyche?

So far in four appearances at the “amateur night” entertainment forum — an open mic, at a coffee house, mostly for singers — the results have been mixed. People stare confusedly at the speaker, if they listen at all.

Weiss admits that partly the project is cathartic — there is something wacky and neurotic about a 48-year-old purported grown-up holding a grudge for so long, and talking about it in a public forum, but also reports that as he describes the project to people he does meet “fellow travelers,” people who augment his observations with their own critical observations on the the former Paly, Michigan and NFL star.

“I’m not sure where this is going,” Weiss says. “I fantasize or worry actually that Harbaugh will hear about this and come to a show and kick my ass. Friends, including my girlfriend, have told me to ‘let it go’. Yet on the other hand, I think I am learning from and growing from the process, and in truth I wish Jim no harm. There are win-win outcomes I can imagine. And meanwhile it gives me an excuse to meet a lot of Spartans and Buckeyes and pick their brain for new material- that, plus I’ve seen some pretty promising singer-songwriters, like Jessie and Maddie.”

Philz open mic

Notes and quotes:

1) Meanwhile, in the San Francisco Chronicle, Eric Branch reports that “The Harbaugh Rule” works wonders in racing as well as football.

2) On page 66 of the pocket version of George Plimpton’s “Paper Lion” the author describes a “club rush” in which Bobby Layne hazed or disciplined the rookie runner Hopalong Cassady — the linemen let the defenders gang-tackle the cocky neophyte. Weiss’s treatise or treatment seeks to present the Harbaugh story in context with the various examples of leadership and maverick-ships in the rich fabric of football.

3) During Friday’s installment, Weiss quoted briefly or at least referenced an obscure book on sports psychology: “Problem Athletes and How to Handle Them” by Bruce Oglivie and Thomas Tutko (from San Jose State; 1966, London). Page 50 — “The Con Man — self-centered athlete”: “They have a serious problems in forming deep emotional ties with others”. The authors may be saying that some star athletes may have what is today described as “borderline personality disorder.”

4) Friday’s USA Today, June 1, 2012, had a cover story about Chargers great Junior Seau, who died suddenly a few months ago. Weiss glossed this during his presentation but emphasized that he was not making fun of Seau but merely striving to put his Harbaugh observations and views in the context of other contemporary discussions of pro football, such as the significance of the cluster of suicides related to CTE, chronic traumatic encephalopathy.

5) Weiss said that he is proud that his four installments of “The Harbaugina Monologues” were various and improvised; they covered about 40 minutes worth of material rather than a honed-version of the same “first quarter”, even if the reactions varied (he was not booed or heckled Friday but confederates reported a significant amount of disapproval in the crowd, whispering). Yesterday’s bit opened with a description of another influence, “California Calling” a music-business performed memoir by Joe Sib, the founder of Side One Dummy Records and 22 Jacks band, an associate of Weiss. Joe Sib has a riff about being a flag football player in junior high and worrying about the two different types of flags, snap-ons versus velcro.

6) Weiss said his pre-game meal was a “chicken Provence French puff” sandwich and an Orangina. On stage he quipped that the show now featured the soda as a sponsor and would hereafter be referred to as “The Harborangina Monologue”.  Afterwards he ate a bacon and guacamole burger at nearby Gordon Biersch, sampled their darkest beer pint, and watched a few innings of shutout pitching by Madison Bumgarner of the Giants versus the Cubs.

7) Rather enthusiastic portrayal of Jim Harbaugh and USD quarterback Josh Johnson in the SF Weekly a few weeks ago by Albert Samahah, duly noted. Also: former mayor of Palo Alto Peter Drekmeier, a Paly ’83, said that he thought Harbaugh was especially inclusive of his teammates; “He made it a point to include everybody for example the kicker Drew Van Horn.”

8) Last week Weiss was introduced for the first time to another former Viking star, Mike Beasley ’81 who went on to star in Pac-10 action for the Washington State Cougars, and is now a banking executive in the Emerald State. He was in town for a fund-raising golf tournament, for Paly. He chuckled politely at the description of the “Harbaugina Monologue” and revealed that among the seniors during Harbaugh’s junior year their pet nickname for the star quarterback was “Peacock”, referencing his cockiness. Harbaugh was the missing link that piloted a core of blue-chip class of 1981 seniors – – Beasley, rb Marc Ford, Mark Johnson — to the CCS quarterfinals, but then slogged through a so-so senior year (although he did lead basketball to CCS semis; he was all league in three sports).

9) Weiss’s actual outline for the June 1 performance:

intro: JOE SIB

One: Fourth Installment

First with a sponsor

Harbaugh Monologue Sponsored by Orangina

two: 1982 Paly Campanile spring sports preview

three: NASCAR

four: Mike Beasley “peacock”

five: research – Junior Seau

six: best moments of my life involve football, but back in 1974

sevens: Rugby 7’s Dartmouth – Army  — Will Holder — (NBC recently broadcast the 2011 collegiate rugby championships and the West Point team featured a former Paly baseball and football player Holder.)

Dartmouth had a guy who looked kind of sloth-like and fleshy — big gut, not athletic, tough-looking. A scrum. He scored a try, though, surprisingly fast. Weird thing was he scored a try while simultaneously studying for his chemistry final. He had a book open, right there on the field, with reading glasses sliding down his nose — and made a one hand grab when the ball was tossed to him. He kinda faked them out; people bounced off him on his way in. (“I guess if I am suggesting some sort of reform to pro football, Canton-style football, it could take a tip from Rugby 7’s — maybe we can go back to players going both ways, offense and defense and they can wrap around not hit on the perpendicular.”

eight: John Paye – better person. Maybe I should praise Paye and not bash Harbaugh (“I did ring Paye recently and spoke for him on a different subject although we did discuss Harbaugh briefly; not sure if I mentioned this project; supposedly, Stanford passed on giving Harbaugh a scholarship, holding the spot open for Paye who was five miles down the road, at Menlo, although he was a year younger. Paye did start in football and basketball for Stanford and for five minutes in the NFL for the Niners”.)

nine: conclusion: Reggae or world music bands. Trying to heal help him. Problem athlete book Oglivie and Tutko.

10) If one types “harbaugh” into the search engine of Weiss’s blog, “Plastic Alto” which covers music, the arts, “ornette” and some local politics, the football coach is mentioned in 18 posts, including six about the monologue per se, mentioned in the heading. In terms of the laws on unintended consequences, Weiss’s comedic attack on Harbaugh might also serve as a leading clearinghouse for news of all things Jim for his many followers. Weiss did not Friday mention by name his former fellow high school editor Greg Zlotnick but made reference to a classmate “who was an All America kicker at Wesleyan.” Zlotnick is one of the friends who suggests, not unlike Lucy for Charlie Brown, Weiss “drop it.”

11) This is actual edita that I found while proofing above and not sure it fits here other than fact that this is mainly a music column with departure into football but Justin Combs son of P. Diddy will reportedly play for UCLA football next season; people are player-hatin’ in questioning why a millionaire’s son should accept a scholarship (valued at “$54,000”) but clearly John Paye and Steve Young for examples could have easily afforded to pay their own way in college.

12) more edita/addendums: a) the Lombardi show is closed but the website offers a 25-page study guide including discussion of St. Ignatius’s influence on that coach; meanwhile, while glossing my use of the term “a stone’s throw” in lead, I noted that the term derives from Gospel of Luke, 22-41, during the so-called “Agony of the Garden” and “Holy Hour” sections, and makes me wonder how to tie that in more directly to the Greatest Harbaugh Story Ever Told; also, there is a bit about stone-throwing in Rinde Eckert’s “The Idiot Variations” here and personal interviews, circa 2001. The actual distance from Philz at 101 Forest and Alma to Stanford Stadium is nine-tenths of a mile. I would estimate that Jim Harbaugh could toss a stone about 60 yards, or three-hundredths of a mile, but you never know. Rather, it might take him about 30 tosses to go from Philz to Stanford Stadium, but work with me, here, guys.

edit to add, morning is gone, sitting in Peets now, near Cubberley ie a couple hours into this, 2:30 p.m.: not sure what this means, and switching back to true first person rather than fake third person describing myself, but I have had the Bernie Taupin Elton John chestnut “Take me to the Pilot of your soul” in my head — it was also covered on “American Idol” recently I must have seen by Joshua Ledet and Fantasia — someone on youtube called him “Mantasia”. I am also referencing obliquely Mark Twain especially “Life on the Mississippi” his account of being a riverboat pilot. I am saying something about leadership and being the pilot, a coach and a quarterback are both pilots of the team — but also something of course Jungian. Outro to music — and see also below the Pink Floyd riff.