“What if, for instance, instead of buying a Jeff Koons balloon dog for ninety million dollars, we offer him half, forty million, for just the tail end of the dog, you know, the hind legs, where it ‘poops’? I’ve always liked to watch dogs defecate, you know what I mean?
“What do they ‘doo’ in other cities — hee, hee — I mean not just for the Percent of Art Programs but with dog poop? These are tough times, maybe we should fine people only $12 not $25 if they let their dogs poop, especially near public art. I will be supporting the motion. Doggy-style, but that’s how I roll. Woof!”